Anchored Intentions: The Love Verb – Part 8

We throw the word love around like confetti.
I love this movie.
I love that coffee.
I love you.

But love—real, biblical love—is not a fleeting feeling or a romantic rush. It’s not dopamine, chemistry, or even compatibility. Love is a verb. Love is a daily, sacred decision.

What Is Love, Really?

Scripture gives us a crystal-clear picture in 1 Corinthians 13:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Cor. 13:4–7, ESV)

Love is more than emotion—it’s action. It’s sacrifice. It’s humility. It’s choosing to put another person’s well-being ahead of your own, especially when it’s hard. Love looks like Jesus.

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us…”
(1 John 3:16, ESV)

That’s our model. That’s our anchor.

Don’t Awaken Love Too Soon

There’s a reason why Song of Solomon 8:4 gives this gentle but powerful warning:

“Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (ESV)

Love is not a toy or a tagline. It’s weighty. It’s sacred. And in dating, using the word “love” too early can put unnecessary pressure on something still tender and new—like throwing a heavy boulder on a seedling that’s just begun to grow.

In those early stages of dating, your brain is flooded with dopamine and oxytocin—the “honeymoon hormones” that blur red flags and make IQs drop (literally). You may feel like you’re in love, but feelings lie. Real love stands the test of time, trials, and truth.

So don’t rush the “L word.” Let love be anchored in truth, not chemistry. Let it rise slowly—like the tide—not crash in like a storm.

Love Is Constant, Not Seasonal

Infatuation comes in waves. Romance ebbs and flows. Even chemistry can flicker. But love? Love should be constant, like gravity. Always holding you. Always grounding you.

That constancy comes only when we’re rooted in the love of God—when we first receive His grace, and then pour it out. Because let’s be honest: it’s hard to love someone who’s being unlovable. And one day, we will be the unlovable ones. Love steps in then too.

“We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19, ESV)

Two Imperfect People, One Perfect Example

Christian love is not between two perfect people. It’s between two sinners saved by grace. We will hurt each other—sometimes unintentionally, sometimes carelessly. But biblical love leads us to forgiveness, peace, humility, and restoration. It says:
It’s not me against you.
It’s us together, fighting for us.

I invite you to look back at 1Corinthians 12- replace the word love with the name of the person you are dating. Are they patient? Are they kind? Go through the list and check for green, yellow or red flags. Then use your name in place of love- are you able to freely give that which you so very much desire? Pray about what you notice in them and in yourself as you reflect on God’s word. 

This kind of love can only happen when both people are submitted to God and filled up with His love first. No one can pour from an empty cup—or an empty love tank.

Final Anchored Thought

Love is not the finish line of dating. It’s the Biblical foundation for our lives- accepting Jesus’ love in his sacrifice and resurrection- and it is the foundation of marriage— the daily practice that keeps it strong. But in dating, love must be approached with wisdom, patience, and purpose.

Don’t let culture rush your pace.

Don’t let chemistry cloud your vision.

Don’t let fear pressure you to say “I love you” before you really know what you’re saying.

Let love be a verb. Let it look like Jesus.
And let it be rooted in something deeper than emotion—rooted in truth, grace, and God Himself.