Dating As a Single Parent – Part 3: Dating with Young Children

Tiny Hands, Tender Hearts

Single Parent Dating When You Have Babies or Toddlers

Dating as a single parent always requires wisdom, but when your child is an infant or a toddler, the questions shift. This stage of life asks for a slower pace, clearer boundaries, and a deeper sense of responsibility. Not because dating is wrong, but because little ones change what faithfulness looks like in very practical ways.

Infants and toddlers are a full-time calling. Their days are shaped by feeding schedules, sleep routines, doctor visits, playtime, early learning, and the emotional work of forming secure attachment. And somewhere within all of that swirling whirl of diapers, bibs, plushies and 3 AM wakeups you also have to fit in time for self-care and oh yeah- work!  It is a season filled with absolute elation and joy, coupled with  exhaustion and unpredictability. Anyone who has lived it knows how full life with very young children is.

Scripture speaks plainly to this priority: “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith.”

(1 Timothy 5:8)

Dating, when it happens in this season, must always come after the well-being of the child.

Why Dating Looks Different with Babies and Toddlers

Young children depend on consistency. They feel safe when their world is predictable, when the same people show up in the same ways, and when their primary caregiver is emotionally present and responsive. That means dating has to be more limited and more intentional.

First, minimal exposure is not unkind or secretive. It is protective. If you are casually getting to know someone, there is no reason for them to meet your infant or toddler. Yes, someone you are casually dating can meet your tribe (your brother, your bestie, your baker- you’ll note I love alliteration) -minus the baby. I will delve deeper into that in an upcoming blog. Simply remember, your child will not benefit from forming attachments to adults who may not remain in their life.

Scripture gives strong language here: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck.”

(Matthew 18:6)

While this verse is often applied spiritually, the heart of it is clear. Children are not to be treated lightly. Their trust is sacred.

Attachment, Safety, and Predictability

Infants and toddlers attach deeply and quickly. Their sense of safety comes primarily from their parent. That attachment needs to be protected above all else.

Additional relationships can be healthy when they are stable, consistent, and long-term. What is harmful is a revolving door of adults who come and go without explanation or permanence. Even when a child cannot articulate what they feel, their nervous system notices absence, inconsistency, and disruption.

Children are described in Scripture as a gift, not an accessory to adult life: “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3) A heritage is something we guard carefully.

Babysitters, Absence, and Discernment

There is nothing wrong with a parent taking time away. Rest matters. Community matters. Healthy support matters.

But frequent absence, irregular routines, or constantly changing caregivers can leave a young child unsettled. Babies and toddlers may not understand why their parent is gone, only that they are.

The days with little ones are long, but the years are short. This stage lays foundations that affect emotional regulation, trust, and security for years to come.

For many single parents, this means dating only when the child is with their other parent and is safe, content, and well cared for. Or dating only when there is a consistent, loving support system already in place, such as grandparents, close family, or trusted members of the church community. Random babysitters and rotating environments are rarely helpful at this age.

What to Look for in a Dating Partner

If you are a single parent of an infant or toddler, the kind of person you date matters deeply. You are not looking for a replacement parent, but you are looking for someone capable of being a supportive, respectful presence if the relationship progresses.

Gentleness and patience matter deeply. So does emotional maturity.

Some green flags to notice over time:

• They speak kindly about children and do not see them as obstacles
• They show patience in everyday situations
• They respect your boundaries around time and access to your child
• They understand that your child comes first without resentment
• They have healthy relationships with family members
• They have experience caring for younger siblings, nieces, nephews, or their own children
• They work in or are comfortable around child-centered environments
• They ask thoughtful questions about your parenting values rather than offering quick opinions

Ultimately, you are looking for the fruit of the Holy Spirit lived out in real life.

 “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22–23)

Conversations by Stage

Let’s unpack the kinds of questions you should be asking depending on the stage of dating you are in:

Early Dating

At this stage, your child does not need to be part of the conversation. Focus instead on values.

Helpful questions might include:

• How do you feel about children?
• What kind of family life do you hope for in the future?
• What does flexibility look like for you?

Exclusive Dating

Now it is appropriate to talk more directly about parenting realities.

Questions to explore:

• Do you want children of your own or more children in the future?
• How do you handle plans changing unexpectedly?
• What does commitment mean to you at this stage of life?

Moving Toward Commitment

This is when conversations become very intentional.

Topics to discuss:

• Expectations around involvement with your child
• Shared values around discipline, faith, and family rhythms
• How transitions would be handled thoughtfully and slowly
• Introduction to your child should only happen when there is clarity, stability, and shared intention.

A Gentle Reminder

If you are a single parent of an infant or toddler and you feel unsure about dating, that uncertainty may be wisdom. There is no rush. You are not missing your moment.

This season is doing important work in you and in your child. Faithfulness here is not small, on the contrary it is foundational.

In the next post, we’ll talk about dating with preschool and school-age children, when awareness increases and conversations become more complex.

For now, know this: loving your child well in these early years is already a holy calling and with your desire to align your heart for dating with God’s heart for you and your child’s life you are beautifully honoring that calling.