Dating as a Single Parent: Online Dating- What Not to Share – Part 8

Online Dating- What Not to Share

Children, Photos, and Dating Apps- one of these things does not go together.

There is a certain level of wisdom that dating requires as a single parent, and nowhere is that more important than in what we choose to share.

That goes for meeting people in real life and for online dating.

Before a first date ever happens, before a conversation even begins, there is usually a profile, and on that profile there is a photo and beneath that photo there are words.

And the green grass grows all around all around and the green grass goes all around.

Apologies if that children’s song is now looping around your brain as it is in mine.

Your online dating profile is a small window into your life. In that small window, you have a responsibility, not just to yourself, but to your children.

Your Profile Is About You

This sounds simple, but it matters.

The person on the other side of that screen is choosing whether or not they would like to get to know you. Not your child. Not your family dynamic. Not your entire life story.

“But Addy! I can’t hide the fact that I have kids!” Nor should you.

You should say that you have children. You can share how many. You can even mention general ages or that you are a devoted parent. There is nothing to hide in that.

But your child’s identity is not part of your introduction.

Not their face- no matter how cute your little mini me is!
Not their name- save the story as to what your child’s name means in Elvish (I see you LOTR fans!) for when you have an in person meet and decide you’d like to see them again. 

Not their school- did you give out your address this quickly? Then why the location that houses your child for seven hours out of the day?

Not their daily life- no one needs to know where their favorite park is, what ice cream parlor you love to take them to, where their abuelita or meemaw lives- it is out of an abundance of caution that you keep these details to yourself until you are sure the person you are interacting with is a safe person.

Those are all details to be delivered after the person has proven that their intentions are pure and aligned with yours to explore a healthy dating relationship.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”
(Psalm 127:3, ESV)

A heritage is something we protect, it is not something we toss casually to strangers.

Why Children Should Not Be on Dating Profiles

This part is not about being overly cautious. It is about being wise.

1. People online are still strangers.
No matter how kind someone seems, how well-written their profile is, or how natural the conversation feels, you do not know them yet.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
(Jeremiah 17:9, ESV)

We cannot see into someone else’s heart. Only God can. That is why we move with discernment.

2. Not everyone is drawn to you for the right reasons.
This is uncomfortable to say, but it needs to be said.

There are broken and unhealthy individuals in this world. Some carry intentions that are not just misguided, but harmful. Sharing your child’s image publicly gives access that does not need to be given.

Wisdom says we close that door before it ever opens.

3. Your child is not part of your presentation.
Your child is not an accessory. Not a way to show how loving you are. Not a way to make your life look fuller or more appealing.

They are a whole person, made in the image of God, with dignity that deserves protection.

Let People Get to Know You First

There is also a quieter, more practical side to this.

When someone sees a profile filled entirely with images of you and your children, they may make assumptions before they even meet you.

They may assume there is no room for them.
They may assume your life has no flexibility.
They may step back before they even understand who you are.

And sometimes, that person might have been willing, with time, prayer, and understanding, to step into that role thoughtfully.

Let them meet you first.

Let them learn your heart, your faith, your values. Then, if the relationship grows, your children can be introduced in the right way, at the right time.

Practical Ways to Protect Your Child’s Privacy

If you do want to include a hint of your life as a parent, there are ways to do that wisely.

• A photo where a small hand is in yours, without showing a face
• A picture of the matching sneakers you and your 4th grader rock
• Cropped or blurred images that remove identifying features
• Simple written statements rather than visual exposure

The focus stays where it belongs- on you!

Guarding Your Own Presence

This conversation does not stop with children. It extends to how we present ourselves as well.

As Christian men and women, we are not trying to attract attention through suggestive images or carefully angled photos meant to highlight only physical features.

We are not presenting ourselves in ways that invite lust.

“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
(Matthew 5:28, ESV)

“But Addy, I wear the full armor of God! I can show my bicep/cleavage/pouty lips!”

Do you know more than God? Paul writes, “Flee from sexual immorality.”
(1 Corinthians 6:18, ESV)

FLEE! I better hear that armor clanking as you get out of that thirst trap pose, delete that bedroom eyes photo and post a smiling picture of you after Sunday service! 

This is not about shame. It is about alignment.

You want to attract someone who sees you with respect. Someone who values who you are, not just how we look. Someone who is drawn to our character, our faith, and our life.

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”
(Matthew 10:16, ESV)

Don’t lure the wolves to you.

So choose photos that reflect dignity.
Choose words that reflect integrity.
Choose boundaries that reflect wisdom.

“The integrity of the upright guides them.”
(Proverbs 11:3, ESV)

A Final Thought

Dating as a single parent requires a different kind of awareness.

You are not just representing yourself. You are stewarding a life that has been entrusted to you. Your kids may come across your dating profile- either by accident or by an angered co-parent who can’t believe you are already dating.

Think of the fallout for your child and yourself in this digital age of screenshots and sharing that could lead to.

You don’t have to fear that- if you pause before posting, thinking through what you’re sharing and why, and choose wisdom over visibility.

Remember- the right person will not need full access to your life immediately.

They will be willing to earn trust slowly, respectfully, and with Jesus at the center of it all.