We like to think surrender is a decision we make in strength. We pray the prayer. We lay something down at the altar. We give God control of a relationship, a career, a habit, a plan. And in that moment, it feels complete. It feels like faith.
But often, what feels like full surrender is really partial. We surrender the conscious parts, the visible corners of our lives, while hidden pieces remain untouched. Fear, pride, and self-reliance lurk in the shadows. We don’t even realize how tightly we are still gripping the wheel.
The Illusion of Control
Control doesn’t just live in the obvious places. It runs deep, buried in unconscious habits and hidden motives. We can believe we’ve surrendered everything, when in truth we’ve simply negotiated the terms. We tell God, “You can have this, but not that. You can lead here, but I’ll handle the rest.”
But negotiated submission is not submission. It’s still control. And God’s strength is not made manifest in control—it’s revealed in weakness.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart… try me and know my thoughts. And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
— Psalm 139:23–24
When Collapse Exposes the Hidden Parts
Sometimes it takes collapse to bring this truth into the open. A health crisis. A financial collapse. A broken relationship. A season where life spins beyond our ability to manage.
That’s when the unconscious control mechanisms are dragged into the light. The fears. The idols. The false securities. The parts of ourselves we didn’t even know we were gripping.
My surrender of all parts of my life came not by choice alone, but by loss of all control. Only then did the unconscious parts of me finally get laid down. The collapse that felt like defeat became the moment of true surrender.
Paul understood this when he wrote:
“We were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.”
— 2 Corinthians 1:8–9
Why God’s Strength Is Found Only in Weakness
God’s strength does not meet us in negotiated surrender. It is not magnified in the areas where we still hold control. His power is made perfect in weakness… in the moment when we finally let go because we have no choice left.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9
God doesn’t delight in our collapse… but He uses it to uncover the deepest corners of our hearts and bring us into total dependence.
Learning to Live in True Surrender
The mercy of collapse is that once exposed, we can begin to practice surrender earlier. Not just when life forces our hand, but daily.
- Pray Psalm 139… asking God to search the hidden places you cannot see yourself.
- When life unravels, ask not only for rescue… but for revelation. What is God surfacing in you?
- Replace the illusion of control with conscious reliance… prayer, waiting, humility.
Collapse as Mercy
Surrender isn’t glamorous. Sometimes it feels like failure. But collapse is often God’s mercy—it frees us from the false control we didn’t even know we held.
In the ruins of self-reliance, His presence becomes real. His strength doesn’t meet us on negotiated terms… it meets us in total weakness. And it is there in the moment we thought was our undoing that we finally discover what it means to be held.
Leave a comment